Zulus and Aliens ….

www.marcuslazarus.com

I do Karate on a Saturday morning now with my boy. He’s just gone five and we’ve yet to find a channel for his endless energy. Actually, we did find a channel just before Christmas that introduced  Ben 10 to his little world, and we’ve never heard the end of it since.

For the uninitiated, Ben 10 is a kid who can transform in grotesque and powerful alien life forms at the touch of a button. Pretty much like any 5 year old if you press the wrong one. Of course, the merchandising that goes along with Ben 10 is such that each character has an ‘ultimate’ version, thereby doubling the possibilities and of course halving your wallet in the process.

So now the bedroom that Thomas the Tank Engine and Lightning McQueen so recently adorned is now slowly transforming itself into Ben 10 world. He has some of the action figures, a duvet set and a giant poster showing all aliens and their names, which is great as it means we can brush up on the characters without sound stupid. To him, that is. We do find ourselves walking around the house asking where ‘Ultimate Spider Monkey’ is or shouting out ‘Humungosaur!’ for no apparent reason other than osmosis as we hear it several dozen times a day.

Lying in bed this morning listening to him leap from the bed several times ‘in character’ and then launching into fifteen verses of “If you’re happy and you know it …” I did briefly long for the days when all was silent in the house. It didn’t last long as he burst in the room wearing little else but his vest (back to front, of course) and declared he already had his socks on. To a five year old, these things are important enough to declare regardless of timing. His mother returned him to his room to complete the dressing process and all we heard was “I’m doing it, woman …..”

Transformation is a wonderful thing. It’s amazing to see them grow into little human beings, all full of confidence and cheekiness, as they explore this strange world and all those that dwell within.

Yesterday for example his school was visited by five Zulus, complete with drums, shields, tribal dress and wellingtons (who knew huh?). They spent the whole day at the school teaching kids about tribal life and rehearsing some dances and songs to perform for parents when we picked them up. I have to say it was mightily impressive; so much so that I seriously considered a career change as I was grooving to the beats, clapping and chanting, but there is one obvious drawback. I shall leave you to decide which of my many talents and personas would preclude me from joining a group of South African Tribal Warriors but I can tell you I am definitely black on the inside.

If I could I think I would be black; I wanna be cool and that’s hard with a pot belly and a bald head. It’s a shame transformation is bestowed upon us and not a free choice, so the sooner they invent that device that allows Ben 10 to turn into anything he chooses the better .. come on Apple, I’ve spotted a gap in the market!